Autism is not an excuse not to parent.

Over Christmas, I had several parties at my house. On Christmas Eve, one side of the family was over...with their 10 year old (verbal, mildly delayed but regular classroom) ADHD/ASD son.

He grabbed some food (fried chicken) and put it on a plate and went and sat in the living room eating it with his bare hands. (it was a boneless skinless breast...for the southerners from Georgia where it is illegal to eat chicken with a fork...goggle it!)

My 3 dogs were all staring at him and he began to whine that they were getting to close to him. My husband told him that in the living room it was the dogs territory and that if he didn't want the dogs to bother him, he should get up and move to the table...10 feet away with wonderful sight lines all around....he wouldn't be missing anything!

 He continued to whine, in the living room, until his mother (in her own whiny voice) asked us to please "deal with our dogs".

The next day, we cooked a big Christmas dinner and had another branch of the family over....along with their 10 yo (just beginning to be verbal, severely affected) ASD son.

You guessed it, he used the tongs to get some food and put it on a plate and went to sit in the living room on the couch.

Yep, all three dogs were staring at him, but he was ignoring them as well. (they are well trained not to take food from anyone as we are hoping to make the two youngest therapy dogs).  Again, my husband told him that if he didn't want the dogs to bother him, he should move to the table.

HE got up and walked to the table, set his plate down and resumed eating.

AMAZING what great parenting can do....

AND as an aside....verbal or not, motor skills or not, self-stimming or not, eye contact or not....has NOTHING whatsoever to do with IQ or ability to understand and process information. I am blessed with the children in my life who have opened my eyes to the fact that lack of expression is not a lack of knowledge! (And some lack of knowledge is a parents fault for just not teaching!)